Parents of neurodivergent children have often tried everything to help their child get into bed and fall asleep more easily. As a family sleep specialist (and mother of neurodivergent twins) , my strategies are founded on evidence-based practice and shaped by neuro-affirming principles to work with a child’s neurodivergent brain and not against it.
Standard sleep advice isn’t right for neurodivergent children – turning their screen off earlier rigid routines, and asking them to get into the shower every night often leads to meltdowns every night. Instead, bedtime with an autistic and ADHD child must consider sensory differences; hyperfocus on tasks that are recharging their brains and their emotional regulation. Bedtime for a neurodivergent child is much more complex and there is no single method that works for every child.
Instead, deploy strategies that respect who they are, how their brain works, and what they need to feel safe.
5 ways to support SEN kids to fall asleep quicker
1:Bedtime demands
Anything you expect your child to do is a demand, which bedtime routines are often full of. Neurodivergent children often cope better when the ‘demands’ are spread out. For example, set up a tooth brush so it is ready to be used after eating their evening meal and say “I’ve put your tooth brush on the kitchen table” without even asking them to use it. Or you can make it more fun, get your own toothbrush and do tooth brush karaoke with them well before starting bedtime.
2: Sensory play
Unmet sensory needs can result in your child running off, jumping about and not settling into bed. So try including purposeful, whole body-sensory play into your evening – hanging upside down off the back of a sofa or arm, bouncing and jumping on a sofa or trampoline, body crashing, falling forward or backwards onto a large bean bag or pile of cushion and swinging. These activities will make them laugh which is great for their parasympathetic nervous system, that sends signals to the brain they are safe, which disengages their fight and flight response.
3: Bathtime
If your child enjoys bathtime, make it longer or have it earlier in the afternoon. Include toys like car wash sponges, watering cans, spray bottles. Having a short bath and rushing before bed is challenging for a neurodivergent child and won’t meet their sensory needs.
However, for many neurodivergent children washing is something they genuinely struggle with. So consider how unclean your child actually is and limit the number of baths or showers you expect them to have each week. Be predictable about when baths or showers will involve hair washing too – this routine will help your child feel in control.
4: Getting into bed
Bedtime feels boring so try to make the dull activity more fun. For instance, wheel barrows with you up the stairs, piggy back where you then toss them, safely, onto their bed.
Once in bed, encourage laying on their front and press a pillow or roll a ball down their spine to their pelvis, then along each leg making sure you press their foot, then come back up to their shoulder then down their arms finally pressing on the finger tips. Or, if your child loves a lot of pressure you can lay your body on top of theirs (only if this is something your child enjoys!)
5: Falling Asleep
To settle their brain and body, try a Lycra compression sheet on the bed so they can wriggle around and get pressure from that instead of pushing their body into you. Fidget toys can also help to settle as fiddling with something and doing it on repeat is very relaxing and soothing for their brain.
Sleep is more likely to come, when a neurodivergent child is feeling happy, safe and relaxed.
About the Author
Michelle Cyril is a family Sleep Specialist for neurodivergent children with nearly 30 years of clinical expertise. Michelle is a parent to two autistic children with demand-avoidant profiles and works with parents internationally to make bedtime calmer and less stressful. For more information, videos and free resources see website https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk
