Having a baby is one of life’s most beautiful milestones, but it can also be one of the most challenging transitions for any relationship. The joy of welcoming a new life into the world is often accompanied by sleep deprivation, new responsibilities, and shifting priorities—all of which can put strain on even the strongest of relationships. However, with some effort, intentionality, and communication, it’s entirely possible to keep your relationship on track while navigating parenthood. Here one of our trusted experts, Leanne Alston from Well Minds PTS, shares some of the best ways to stay connected as a couple after having a baby:
1. Prioritise Communication
Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. After having a baby, it’s easy to fall into the habit of only discussing logistical details like feedings, nappy changes, or medical appointments. Make time to talk about how you’re both feeling—the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Regular check-ins can help you stay connected and address any potential issues before they escalate.
2. Schedule Time as a Couple.
Between late-night feedings and endless nappy changes, it can feel impossible to carve out time for each other. However, even short moments of connection can make a big difference. Plan a weekly date night, even if it’s just time at home together after the baby is asleep. Plan in small opportunities like sharing a cup of coffee in the morning or taking a walk together, this can help maintain a sense of closeness and connection.
3. Bids for Connection
Bids for connection are small, everyday gestures or attempts to seek your partner’s attention, affection, or support. These might include asking for their opinion, sharing a funny story, or simply saying, “Look at this!” Recognising and responding to these bids strengthens emotional intimacy and reinforces your bond. Make a conscious effort to notice when your partner is reaching out for connection and respond positively, even if it’s just with a smile or a quick acknowledgment. Over time, these small moments can build a strong foundation for your relationship.
4. Divide and Conquer
Sharing responsibilities is key to preventing resentment. Discuss and agree on how to divide parenting and household tasks in a way that feels fair. Being a team means supporting each other and stepping in when one of you is feeling overwhelmed. Remember, you’re both adjusting to a new routine, so be flexible and review often to make sure you’re working well together.
5. Express Gratitude
In the whirlwind of caring for a newborn, it’s easy to overlook your partner’s contributions. Take time to acknowledge and appreciate what your partner is doing, whether it’s changing a nappy, preparing a meal, or simply being there when you need a hug. A little gratitude goes a long way in strengthening your bond.
6. Make Self-Care a Priority
Taking care of yourself allows you to show up better for your partner and your baby. Encourage each other to take breaks, exercise, and pursue activities that bring joy. When both partners are physically and emotionally well, it’s easier to maintain a positive and supportive relationship.
7. Don’t Neglect Physical Intimacy and Connection.
Physical intimacy often takes a backseat after having a baby, and that’s completely normal. However, intimacy is an important part of any romantic relationship. Be patient with each other and communicate openly about your needs and feelings. Even small gestures like holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a kiss can help maintain closeness.
8. Seek Support When Needed
There’s no shame in asking for help. Whether it’s from family, friends, or a professional, seeking support can relieve some of the pressure on your relationship. Consider attending couples’ counselling or parenting classes to navigate this new phase together with confidence.
Final Thoughts
Welcoming a baby into your life is a transformative experience, and it’s natural for your relationship to go through some ups and downs during this time. By prioritising communication, sharing responsibilities, and making time for each other, you can strengthen your bond and build a partnership that’s even more resilient. Remember, the best gift you can give your child is a healthy and loving relationship between their parents. So, take a deep breath, lean on each other, and enjoy the incredible journey of parenthood together.