This might ruffle a few feathers, but it comes from a place of honesty, experience and genuine care. Every week, I meet parents who are exhausted. Parents who have spent months, sometimes years, fighting for support that should never have required a fight in the first place. They are angry, burnt out and grieving the childhood they imagined for their child.
And they are not wrong.
The endless assessments, funding delays, waiting lists and battles with schools and local authorities are not okay. I have lived it myself. I have sat in those meetings. I have cried the tears. I have wondered how much more one family can possibly carry.
So, when I say what I am about to say, please know it is not coming from judgement. It is coming from someone who truly understands.
The hard truth
Staying in that place will not change your child’s situation. Talking about how broken the system is will not help your child regulate today, communicate today or sleep tonight. The system absolutely needs fixing. But while we wait, our children are still growing. Their confidence is still being shaped. Their nervous systems are still learning whether the world feels safe. Those precious days do not pause while the paperwork catches up.
This is why I challenge parents.
When families come to us, I do not simply agree that life is hard—because we already know it is.
Instead, I ask a different question:
What does your child need right now?
Not six months from now. Not when funding arrives. Not when someone finally approves a piece of paper. Today. Because there is almost always something we can begin doing.
It might mean changing the environment, reducing demands or building more movement into the day. It could involve creating predictable routines, understanding sensory needs or learning to view behaviour differently. None of these things replace the professional support your child deserves. But they can make today a little easier.
Sometimes, those small changes become the foundation for much bigger ones.
You do not need permission to begin
One of the biggest myths parents are led to believe is that nothing can happen until someone else gives permission. But that is not always true. You do not need permission to understand your child better. You do not need funding to build connection. You do not need a professional report before creating moments of safety, predictability and enjoyment.
Should families have to do this alone?
Absolutely not.
But while we continue fighting for change, we must not accidentally leave our children waiting too. I say this because I have been there. I have faced trauma. I have done the therapy. I have lived this reality as a parent. I then chose to combine that lived experience with professional training, evidence-based practice and years of supporting hundreds of families. I have seen what can happen when a family begins taking small, achievable steps while still advocating fiercely for the support their child is entitled to receive.
Those things are not mutually exclusive.
You can fight the system and help your child today.
Ask yourself one question
You are allowed to feel angry. You are allowed to feel exhausted. You are allowed to grieve and say, “This is not fair.” Because sometimes, it really is not fair. But try not to let those feelings become the place where you stay. Feel them. Process them. Then ask yourself:
What is the next small step?
Small steps become routines. Routines create progress. Progress builds confidence. And confidence can change lives.
Practical support for the whole family
At The Farming Mother, we do not promise miracle fixes.
What we do promise is honest, practical support. We help families understand why something may be happening, rather than focusing only on what is happening. Together, we identify realistic next steps that suit your child, your family and your everyday life. Sometimes, the biggest change does not begin with funding. It begins with someone saying:
“Let’s figure this out together.”
Find out what support your family needs next
If you are exhausted from fighting, waiting and trying to hold everything together, take our free How Exhausted Are You? parent quiz. It only takes a few minutes and will help you recognise where you are right now—and what kind of support could make everyday family life feel more manageable.
You can continue fighting for the support your child deserves while taking one small step to help your family today.
After completing the quiz, you can find out more about the practical family support, activities and sessions available through The Farming Mother.
Let’s work out your family’s next step together.
About the author
Keeley Reading is he founder of The Farming Mother a SEND-inclusive farm in Cornwall providing animal-assisted therapy, alternative education, and calm, supportive experiences for children and families.