As we navigate our way through life, we are faced with some incredible highs, but those moments of joy and success don’t come without their lows. Whether it be struggling with progressing in your career or finding a balance within your relationship, wellness expert and life coach Lorena Bernal has shed some light on how she has found the strength to overcome setbacks and grow her levels of resilience through times of fear, pain and unpredictability.
Lorena, author of It Starts With You, a book that looks at the power of reconnecting with our true selves, reveals why it is important to connect with your inner confidence in order to lead your life with strength, peace and honesty. She shares her top tips on how to become more resilient and why building a healthy relationship with yourself could be the first step to achieving ultimate fulfilment.
Wellness expert and life coach, Lorena Bernal – author of It Starts With You – reveals:
The strength of trusting yourself
“There is a kind of loneliness many of us carry in our everyday lives. We can be surrounded by loved ones and still feel misunderstood, emotionally unreachable, and invisible in our truth. When we feel disconnected from ourselves, we believe others should love us better, see us deeper, reach us where we are. It takes time to realise that the most powerful connection we will ever have is the one we build with ourselves. I’ve walked through seasons of life where no one could truly understand what I was going through. Where the pain, the choices and the fears were mine to face alone. I stood by myself. I didn’t abandon my heart when it needed me the most. That is what has kept me whole. That is what has given me peace. It’s this inner relationship that becomes our deepest source of resilience.
“I began to understand that you don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. We’ve been taught to strive endlessly for perfect bodies, careers, and relationships. But you are allowed to be more than enough even when you’re tired, when you’re learning, and even when you’re still healing. Some days you’ll give more, while others you’ll need to pause. What matters the most is knowing you’re doing your best without punishing yourself.
“There are many moments when I’ve felt unprepared and uncertain. But I often remind myself: this life is the only one I have. We’re not here to rush toward some imagined end goal. We’re here to live each day, each moment, and each interaction as fully as we can.”
Lorena’s top tips on how to be more resilient
1. Choose your inner truth
“There’s no universal rule for the ‘right’ life. There is only what feels true in your heart. Whether it’s about having children, choosing a career, moving abroad, or starting over. You need to listen to the part of you that is quiet and clear. The path that is most aligned won’t always be the easiest, but it will always feel right. And when challenges come, you won’t blame anyone, because you’ll know you are following your truth.”
2. Let go of needing others to love you perfectly
“Your partner, your parents, your friends, they will all love you in their own ways. You can’t rewrite their language of love, but you can learn to receive it as it is. When you stop demanding, you start embracing what life throws at you, the love will grow.”
3. Perfection doesn’t exist
“You are not meant to be flawless. You are meant to be real. Show up as you are. Honour your efforts, even when it feels small. Rest when you need to and trust that the version of you that’s present, honest, and human is already more than enough.”
4. Believe in magic
“There are forces guiding us that we can’t explain. You can call it intuition or good timing. You don’t need to understand everything. You just need to trust, love, and keep showing up. The rest will take care of itself.”
5. Take in every moment
“You’re not here to be productive all the time. You’re not a machine. You are a living, breathing, and feeling being. So rest, hug those close to you, lie under the sky, watch the leaves move and take those moments to be still. That’s not laziness, it’s feeling every moment in the present.”
6. Be your own source of safety
“No one will ever know you like you do. So, build a relationship with yourself that is kind, honest, and loyal. The more you trust and love yourself, the less lonely life feels, no matter who stays, leaves, or misunderstands you. And from that place, you will lead quietly, fiercely, and beautifully.”